Justine's Story

In the movies, they always portray high school as being the time of your life. Maybe it is for some people, but it wasn't for me.

I didn't know what was wrong when I started feeling so low. I wrote a piece for my English class about a girl with a heart of lead. The lead spreads through her body until she can hardly walk or breathe. I stopped talked to my friends and hid in the washrooms so I didn’t have to face people. No one could understand. I felt that everyone thought I was a freak.

My school did help me in getting some of the support I needed. I saw the school psychologist, who said I was depressed. She called my parents which was my greatest fear (for my parents to know how I was feeling), but getting help was a lot easier after they knew. They found a psychologist for me and I've been working with her for two and a half years.

I talked to my guidance counsellor any time I was having a problem with my schoolwork. Surprisingly, my teachers were very understanding and extended deadlines for me, and didn't ask questions when I had to leave class. A few times my guidance counsellor talked to the vice principal and I didn't have to write exams, because of how out of control things were.

My teachers understood to a point, but I felt like some of them were afraid of me. I asked one teacher for help; she had wanted to talk to me about what was wrong one day so I felt I could trust her. I was screaming for help, because I was having trouble with my psychologist and parents, and didn't know where to turn. She acted as though I had said nothing.

But I got through it. I got through high school! I learned that I could count on the school for a little support, but I had to be assertive in terms of my schoolwork. I learned that I had to pull myself through every day, ‘cause no one else would. When I left class I would go to the washroom and breathe deeply. Sometimes I'd go outside and stick my hands into the snow. The shock would calm me down. My guidance counsellor was there to listen, and even if she had other appointments, she'd cancel them if I was really upset.

So here's my guide to getting through high school and life when you're depressed:

Ask for help, but don't expect everyone to be receptive. Try not to get discouraged – even if some people aren't receptive, it doesn't mean that you won’t find someone who can help.

Do what you need to do to get through the day. Focus on getting through that one day, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Give yourself some balance between schoolwork and being good to yourself. Go for a walk, go on the Net, call a friend. You need to be good to yourself to have the energy to keep going.

The last tip is: DON'T LOSE HOPE!!! I got through high school, and you will
too, as hard as it may seem. Remember that this is only a fraction of your life. You can't even imagine the amount of strength you do have inside you until you have to use it. It is there. You know yourself better than anyone. Trust yourself. You can do it.