Tips for advocating for your teens

Respect your teen’s confidentiality
Your teen will have their own thoughts and feelings about disclosing their mental health problem. It’s important for parents to respect those wishes in order to ensure ongoing trust and openness. As one student who took part in a focus group aptly put it “Don’t go over our heads”.

Get involved
Parents may feel uncertain about how to approach their adolescent or the school when their teenager is having difficulty. However, it is important to remember that adolescents need their parents not only to set appropriate expectations and boundaries, but also to advocate for them. The active involvement of parents is very important for academic success and recovery. Ask the expert
Discuss the kinds of help and support that are available in the school with your teen (Link to accommodations section). What do they think would be helpful?

Make connections
Contact the Guidance Office at the high school your teen attends and find out which Counsellor has been assigned to your teen.

Talk to you teen’s teachers.
Get in touch with your local school board to find out what particular supports are available within your district (“Virtual” or correspondence courses, tutor support, alternative schools, etc.)

Keep complete records
Request copies of all your teen’s educational and medical files
Keep records of everything, including notes, records of phone conversations, copies of schoolwork, etc.

Understand your teen’s learning style
Knowing and understanding the impact of your teen’s diagnosis is important, and it provides critical information, but it is not the only factor that determines how your teen learns. Find out more about your teen’s learning style, from past teachers, and from your teen.

Consult with professionals to help you better understand how your teen learns, so that you can help them to focus on their abilities.

You may be able to work with school staff to arrange cognitive testing for your teen to help identify educational strengths and weaknesses. The results of these tests can help your teen choose courses in which they will be more likely to succeed.

Encourage your teen to lighten their load
Reducing the course load your teen is carrying may a big difference to their stress level and their ability to maintain a balance. Encourage them to combine homework-heavy courses like English with courses such as Phys Ed which don’t require as much homework.

Emphasize that they don’t have to complete all of their required courses in 4 years. Remind them that many students, regardless of whether or not they have mental illness, take 5 or more years to finish high school.

Stand by your teen
You may be feeling quite overwhelmed by the changes that your teen’s mental health problem or illness has brought upon you and the rest of you family. It’s important to remember that your teen didn’t choose this, and that they are indeed working very hard.

Encourage your teen to try again
Sometimes teens need to take time away from school to deal with their mental health problem or illness and allow them time to recover. That doesn’t mean that they can’t return to school when things are under control, and they are feeling better.

If your teen left the school under difficult circumstances, they may feel embarrassed and may not want to go back. Reassure them by explaining that school staff are professionals who know that it is not uncommon for students (and adults) to take time off for medical concerns.

Keep important people in the loop
Maintain contact with your teen’s teachers and guidance counsellors if they have to spend time away from school. This will help facilitate your teen’s return when they are ready.
Investigate alternatives

If continuing in a regular school setting is proving unmanageable for your teen, there are a number of alternatives that you can investigate. While the educational services and supports available very greatly depending on your school district, it’s worthwhile speaking with the Principal, and the Director of Special Education Services in your School District/ Local School Board about the alternatives available in your area. These include correspondence courses, General Educational Development (GED) equivalency diploma, alternative schools, specialized programs within mental health facilities, etc.